Honestly as I type this, I'm angry. I'm mad that it took my freakin' computer almost 10 minutes to unfreeze from whatever coma it stumbled into this time, but that's standard procedure and just irks me when it happens.
As for what I'm currently stewing on, the list is as follows. I'm beginning to hate student teaching, not because of the actual teaching or students. I'm still upset about my "conference" after my first lesson. I'm frustrated that it seems like my teacher won't let me take control and therefore reports me as nervous in the classroom (a stigma that I've been battling since my first failure in Junior year). I'm irritated that I drive to Wilmore every 2 weeks for "necessary" student-teacher training but that it takes me out of the last 15-30 minutes of a class that I'm teaching. I'm mad that every one of my "friends" forgot my birthday. I'm more upset that I got half-assed excuses why they "forgot" (read: ignored) my birthday. I know I turned 22...but still, no one likes to be forgotten.
In addition to all this we'll add any family issue that comes up that I worry about (because that's part of my nature, I had stomach ulcers in 1st grade...true story) and we'll add the stress of maintaining a stable relationship and planning a wedding on top of the rest.
All in all I'm seeing a serious recipe for disaster. (and it took me like 4 tries to spell recipe)
I want to quit. I'm done. I'm sick of jumping through hoops to fulfill a pointless requirement (like logging my time in 15 minute increments...like I honestly check the exact time that I switch between tasks and let's not forget multi-tasking) or trying to please people who already have a fixed bad impression of me that leaves no room for grace. I'm tired of trying to maintain friendships where I do all the work.
I'm in a bad mood, I don't care who knows it, and I have no solutions to fix anything except pray that time heals it all.
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